Matthew McConaughey has some excellent advice for all boys regarding sexual consent.
During an interview for the debut episode of Amanda de Cadenet’s new podcast, The Conversation About the Men, the Dallas Buyers Club actor touched on the abuse he experienced as a teen, which he revealed in his memoir, Greenlight. This prompted host Amanda to ask “how’d you know what was right” when it came to sexual situations in his adolescence, to which he explained:
“I’d been taught and guided by my parents.”
He continued on the knowledge his father imparted on him:
“Talking to me as his son, as a male in this situation and speaking to me about a heterosexual relationship, he says, ‘If you ever feel the girl, the female hesitate, stop.”
What a concept… Actually taking into account how your partner feels during intimate moments! It’s honestly sad and very indicative of the toxic masculinity that has saturated our culture that this is the exception rather than the rule… But still, good on Matt and his parents!
“Wow. He taught you about consent.”
However, the Oscar winner explained this wasn’t just about consenting to what your partner said. This was a hard rule beyond that — if your date is hesitant at all, stop and DON’T START AGAIN, even if she says she changed her mind! He elaborated:
“He even said this: You may even feel them hesitate and then after you stop, then they go, “Oh no, no, c’mon.” Don’t. Wait until next time.’ And he was right. I got in circumstances where I was like, ‘Nah nah nah, okay, I’m out’ and then saying, ‘Okay, cool, I’m out.’ The girl went, ‘Oh, well, no c’mon,’ and I was like, ‘No, no, no.’”
He further explained his father always told him:
“Trust you’ll have another day if it’s to be.”
Sage words! Amanda agreed, adding:
“What incredible advice.”
Honestly it is great advice! You can go by follow the letter of the law as far as consent goes and only go as far as your date verbally agrees to — and still be crossing a line they didn’t actually want to. If you’re just waiting to get that “yes,” for your partner to give in, there’s a good chance there will still be bad feelings afterward, even after verbal consent. This rule seems like a pretty solid way to avoid regrets.
We wish all boys had someone to teach them lessons like this.
The Conversation About the Men began in response to the recent overturning of Roe v. Wade, as de Cadenet explained in a press release:
“The existing concepts of masculinity have been shattered and need to be rebuilt. Men’s voices are crucial in the restructuring of modern masculinity. My hope is that I can create a space for men to speak honestly and openly in a collaborative way. Consent, parenting, race, cancel culture, porn, Roe v. Wade and toxic masculinity are just some of the subjects we get into in an uncensored and authentic way.”
Off to a great start! Listen to Matthew’s episode on all streaming platforms now. Thoughts on his advice, Perezcious readers? Let us know in the comments down below!